When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.  Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord .” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.  Psalm 32:3‭-‬5 NIV11

We sin

As a  Christian we enjoy the power of God and the presence of Christ.  However we are still part of the fallen nature of man.  We sin.  We are turned by our desires and traps designed by our enemy (James 1:14-15  “14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.“)  Like King David our eyes see something we may not even have been looking for.  Our carnal fallen nature rises up and we find ourselves falling into sin.

We Justify

The first response is to justify and minimize the sin.  Using our logic we devise a world where we can live with the pleasure and pretend it has no effect our relationship with God.  But, we notice a dryness of God’s presence.  The desire of seeking God’s presence is reduced or replaced.  Day after day a decrease of seeking God is replaced by the carnal desires you tasted and liked.

Listen to your body

If this is you,  listen to your body and heart.  As David described during his sin his body reacted to the lack of God’s presence.  There is a pressure and groaning in our bodies.  You feel it.  Trying to escape this pressure you keep yourself occupied with distractions and entertainment. But all along a Christian’s body that houses God’s presence moans and  suffers. The joy of God’s presence is dampened as the Holy Spirit calls for repentance.  This is a difficult and uncomfortable feeling.  The clash of God’s presence with our selfish desires is an inward battle.

Confess and enjoy

I am glad the Holy Spirit does not give up.  I know I need to confess and reject that carnal pleasure that was birthed by gossip, lust, anger, or any other emotion.  Once I begin to confess this to God, a sweet presence floods my life.  I am forgiven.  I am free of the inward pain. The joy of seeking God and His word returns and strengthens me.  We serve a great God who knows we are part of a fallen world.  He understands and His grace covers us during these times of wondering.  We can continue to reject Christ to our own shame and judgement but as I confess, I am restored.

Jesus prayed for Simon “before” he denied Christ

Jesus prayed for Peter (also called Simon) when He saw his future denial of Christ.  Luke 22:31-32 NIV “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. [32] But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”